Monday, March 20, 2006


I officially re-applied for UNO, entering in the summer of 2007. No more moaning and whining about living here. Everything from here on out is focused on the goal of returning to grad school in Louisiana.

I can make it another 12-14 months here. I can get up everyday, have my coffee,work, and go to sleep. Do the gym thing. Get in the best shape I can. I will work everyday to ignore the fact that I have never been happy here and never will. It is simply impossible. It is like running in circles and never getting anywhere. I have tried every way I know of to be satisfied here and nothing works. It never worked in high school and it certainly doesn't work now. I just don't fit here. It's a great place for those who fit here. It's not like Austin is a horrible place. It's just been horrible for me. For whatever reason, people here just don't *get* me and I am so tired of trying to make them care. I've spun myself around in circles so many times here that I am dizzy from trying to be what they want. I have to live somewhere where me and the place go together. I felt that way in Florida and in New Orleans.

Life goes on and all I can do is chalk it up to bad luck or fate or whatever that I hate this town. Again, maybe its just many people say they love it. I'm sure they do. But everyone's experience is an individual one and for me, this place is full of nothing but fakes and fools and liars.

There's not much else to say right now. I'll still post from time to time...perhaps...when the mood strikes me. I'm tired of *declining* LOL (even in a 'plush' sense)'s time to resurrect myself and start anew.'s like a movie...write your own ending :)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I Saw In Louisiana A Live-Oak Growing

I saw in Louisiana a live-oak growing,
All alone stood it and the moss hung down from the branches,
Without any companion it stood there uttering joyous leaves of dark green,
And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think of myself,
But I wondered how it could utter joyous leaves standing alone there without
its friend near, for I knew I could not,
And I broke off a twig with a certain number of leaves upon it, and twined
around it a little moss,
And brought it away, and I have placed it in sight in my room,
It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear friends,
(For I believe lately I think of little else than of them,)
Yet it remains to me a curious token, it makes me think of manly love;
For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in Louisiana solitary
in a wide flat space,
Uttering joyous leaves all its life without a friend or lover near,
I know very well I could not.

-Walt Whitman

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

If only we had politicians like this in Texas...*sigh*...the wonderful & studly SF Mayor, Gavin Newsom Posted by Picasa

Working during the day (nothing stressful), still helping Courtney on the edges. I started putting feelers out to return to New Orleans (I have to return, I have to remove myself from rich hippie hypocrite land)...e-mailed David Lambour and heard some news and that was good, it was nice to know the old crowd is still around down there and that Katrina didn't destroy it all. It will require some $$$ and some serious planning but I need to do this for myself, for my sanity, for any chance at happiness. I cannot spend the rest of my life stuck in traffic on MoPac. I just can't. That life is not for me.

Primary elections...same old faces (except the fabulous & funny Kinky)...same old games...nothing really ever changes down here in Lone Star Land...

Saturday, February 25, 2006

"Dr. McSteamy" LOL...from 'Grey's Anatomy'

Good couple of days...Port Aransas, travel, still doing some online teaching stuff. Staying busy, it's raining, I walked into the sea and it was cold but not bad cold. I love the Gulf this time of year. It's cleaner. It really is. Plus the Spring Breakers have not descended on South Texas as of yet, so it is still very quiet and natural; no wet T-Shirt contests yet...

Poor Sheryl cancer is no joke. I hope she can get good treatment. That nasty manwhore Lance Armstrong drops her and now she gets sick. I wish her lots of luck in her treatment.

It's still kind of stormy outside (there was lightning over the water-- beautiful)...Spring approaches. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Winter Olympics...a time to celebrate world peace, friendship and hot guys. This one (Jeremy B) is a tad height challenged but the body makes up for it. Posted by Picasa

Monday, February 20, 2006

Ah, now there's a REAL city...

Have a slight cold but its a good day. Helping Courtney grade some papers, plan some trips up North. The weather has gone bonkers...its like 45 and wet. Slimy vegetable soup weather. I drank about a bottle of NyQuil today and skipped the gym because I can't jog and hack up my lungs at the same time. Watched lots of TV, some of the Winter Olympics...the ice skaters are so graceful. Except when they fall down, of course.

I watched 'Tyra Banks' show this morning and it was pathetic, all these whiny professional chicks bitching because they don't have a man. They need to get over themselves. A man isn't everything. Men are fun to have around, sure, but they are not the end all, be've got to have a fully-formed identity ON YOUR OWN, separate from any man before you can truly be happy. Men are just the dessert, not the main course. Personal fulfillment and discovery is the point of this whole life, not some guy to screw. I have finally figured this out after all these years myself. I can't understand how I lived for years thinking the opposite way. LOL.

Things are *good* on that front, though. But I keep that between he & I...sorry...I never kiss and tell, not anymore :)

Hoping it warms up, I'd like to do an afternoon on the patio this week. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, February 19, 2006


Love...comic book style...from the pages of DC's Manhunter #18 Posted by Picasa